The Causes of Weak Protective Jealousy (Ghayrah) أسباب ضعف الغيرة

(audio unclear) The brother says: what are the causes of the weakness of protective jealousy (ghayrah) that we see in our reality (audio unclear) over the womenfolk (maharim)?

The Prophet ﷺ says: "There is no one more protectively jealous than Allah, and for that reason He forbade immoralities, what is apparent of them and what is concealed." This is agreed upon as authentic. Protective jealousy is praiseworthy; it is among the qualities of the astute, among the qualities of the people of goodness and righteousness, because the opposite of protective jealousy is dayathah [being a cuckold], and dayathah is among the qualities of the wicked and among the qualities of the base.

We said: dayathah is approving of evil in one's family — such that he permits a stranger to kiss his wife or his daughter, permits a stranger to lie with his sister, permits a stranger to sit with (audio unclear) and put his thigh against her thigh. No one does this or approves of it except a dayyuth. Dayathah is not limited to approving of fornication in his family — that is the ugliest kind of dayathah. Kissing, touching, (audio unclear) sitting together and the like — all of this is a kind of dayathah, and this is a sign of the absence of protective jealousy.

Likewise, enabling one's family to wear tight clothing and to appear in the markets and streets, tempting people — this is the result of little protective jealousy. Likewise, enabling one's wife and family to wear this modern, alluring niqab. Some people do not distinguish between the niqab that existed in the time of the Companions and the niqab that exists in our time. The niqab in the time of the Companions was [an opening for] one eye, as Ibn 'Abbas said; and even if it was two eyes, it was intended for seeing. Now the niqab is not intended for seeing; the niqab is intended to be, in itself, adornment and temptation. In addition to that, the woman appears with kohl-lined eyes and painted cheeks, (audio unclear) the eye lined with kohl, and you see part of the cheek showing, painted. This is the blameworthy display of adornment (tabarruj), and it is the result of [weak] protective jealousy in the hearts.

Likewise, the woman goes out at the start of the day and does not return until [the end of] the day — this one is (audio unclear) always going in and out. This is the result of weak protective jealousy. Likewise, a woman going out to the markets without a mahram, roaming the streets from shop to shop, flirting with men — this is the result of weak protective jealousy. She does not go out to the markets except with a mahram, and if she goes out without a mahram, the conditions must be met: that she is modestly covered, that (audio unclear) temptation, that she has a need to go out, and that [the outing] ends once her need is fulfilled. Likewise, among [the signs of] weak protective jealousy is enabling the woman to uncover her face, and greater [than that] is displaying it in pictures.

The causes of weak protective jealousy are many. Among the most important of them: weak taqwa in the hearts — whenever taqwa weakens in the heart, [protective jealousy] weakens. But this is not a necessary [link], because we know that the people of the Jahiliyyah, despite their Jahiliyyah and having nothing of taqwa, had protective jealousy; but it was a protective jealousy that was not religious — the jealousy of natural disposition. We are speaking about religious protective jealousy, not (audio unclear).

Another matter: enabling the family, or bringing satellite dishes and instruments of amusement into the homes — these [remove] protective jealousy from souls and hearts. To the degree that you enable your family to have satellite dishes and evils, following [television] series and watching satellite channels, to that degree protective jealousy leaves you. And when protective jealousy leaves, one sees the good as evil and the evil as good. Among [the causes] is ignorance; (audio unclear) respond to the enticements of the Westernisers and those who corrupt women. Among them is responding to fashions — among the causes of weak protective jealousy in the hearts. We see men responding; they have become like women: a fashion the woman follows, and the man goes along. The man is the guardian (qawwam) over the woman; he must restrain her, because the woman is deficient in intellect and religion.

Some people do not distinguish between the deficiency of the woman's intellect and religion and her intelligence. There is no contradiction; a woman may be intelligent while her intellect is deficient. The proof is that a man is able, however (audio unclear), to draw her along, and his ability to draw her along is proof of the deficiency of her intellect; her intelligence does not help her. Some people do not distinguish between a woman's intelligence and the deficiency of her intellect, and this is what removes the confusion people have today. One may be struck by doubt: [a woman is] intelligent and runs a state, and (audio unclear), she addresses and understands, and she may excel in things that men do not do. But this intelligent woman — a man is able to draw her along because of the deficiency of her intellect, because the faculty of intellect in the woman is other than the faculty of intellect in the man. The faculty of the woman's intellect remains weak; it is not on the level of the faculty of the man's intellect. For that reason the Prophet ﷺ says: "I have not seen any deficient in intellect and religion more able to remove (audio unclear)." The woman is deficient in intellect and deficient in religion.

So the man going along with the woman in everything — this is something that emboldens her, and when it emboldens her she wants (audio unclear) of others. Likewise, enabling the woman to sit with sinful women, deviant women, frivolous women, or women far from religious commitment and knowledge — this is something that makes her take them as an example. Then she pressures the man until his feelings are dulled, and when his feelings are dulled, he sees no harm in that; and in the future he may begin to argue in defence of these evils and these calamities.

In the two Sahihs, from the hadith of Ibn 'Umar, the Prophet ﷺ said: "Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock." The father is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock: the father is responsible for his children and responsible for his wife, and is required to reform the people of his household and to strive in reforming others.

Among what strengthens the side of protective jealousy in a man: remembering death and decay, [for] this awakens life in his heart, and the life of the heart is the life of protective jealousy. [And] sitting with the people of knowledge, the people of religion and scrupulousness, and keeping away from sitting with the people of misguidance and deviation — and those who give fatwa that the woman's display of adornment is permissible and that there is no harm [in it], or that the woman may shake hands with men, or that the woman may stand before men, or that the woman [need only] wear [covering] from the navel to the knee — among the misguidances we are living with now. And among that is striving in seeking knowledge, for knowledge guides to good and ignorance guides to evil. Yes.

(An exchange with an attendee; audio unclear.) Without doubt, forbidden things in general, as you mentioned — and especially usury (riba) — weaken protective jealousy and dull the feelings, because whenever the stomach is nourished from the forbidden, its feelings are dulled, and when its feelings are dulled, do not be surprised that weak protective jealousy and dayathah issue from him. (audio unclear) all the things that affect the person — because sometimes men are preoccupied with their worldly affairs, preoccupied with their trade, [neglecting] their homes; (audio unclear) to reform his home, reform his family, reform himself. So indeed, committing the forbidden in general, of course, contradicts taqwa — what we mentioned in the first point. If taqwa is not present, there may be no restraint to drive him. A person is driven by one of two things: either an authority that drives him — Allah restrains by the ruler what He does not restrain by the Qur'an — or faith that holds him back from committing sins and acts of disobedience; or a third matter, which is modesty (haya'). But if modesty is lost, then it is as he ﷺ said: "If you have no shame, then do as you wish."

[The follow-up question on censuring face-uncovering is in Censuring Uncovered Faces Where the Matter Is Disputed.]

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